There’s a nefarious disorder spreading through the country, conducted via the insidious vector of television. Symptoms include disorientation and confusion. Those affected can be recognized by one simple behavior: holding their iPhone upside down.
Reader Mark has sent us proof of this terrible affliction from no less than five different television shows, with stars as diverse as Minnie Driver, Charlie Sheen, and Kevin McKidd. We’ve searched in vain for some sort of Kevin Baconesque connection between those infected, with the hopes that we could suss out a Patient Zero, but no luck so far.
Mark offers his own theory about the source of this disruption:
They have to be doing it on purpose. I have been a TV producer for many years and while I’ve never worked on these shows, I can say with authority that there are smart people who are paid to make sure everything done on shows and in commercials is correct. So the only way something so dumb and obvious like this is that they are doing it on purpose.
We wonder if the condition has a compulsive need to cover up the distinctive Apple logo, the way that many televisions obscure the icon on what are clearly Mac laptops. That, or the actors involved are having trouble with the iPhone’s symmetrical, featureless outside.
While we concoct these theories in the hopes that we can return peace and order to the country, we fear that we may never know the true source of this terrible disease. Hit the jump below for more gruesome pictures of iPhones held the wrong way, courtesy of Mark.
Continue reading "TV iPhones should be marked "This Way Up" "
Last week, I made a daring and sacrificing expedition to the desolate island of Aruba, where I battled horrifying beaches, a strong sun, overly-stuffing food, and fresh fruit smoothies.
Yeah, it was hell.
One night, we decided to brave the barren roads and take a rental car tour of the isle. We wound up lost, trapped in some dark remote desert area surrounded by cacti, abandoned buildings, and incredibly lazy wild dogs who did little more than stare at us in bewilderment. After 45 minutes of going in circles, we were losing hope, and on the verge of making camp and eating my brother for nourishment.
Worried for his life, The Bro whipped out his iPhone and discovered something amazing: he was able to use the Google Maps app to actually locate our position on the island, streets and all. He turned on Data Roaming, connected to the island's Setar cell network, and used the Find Me button to accurately triangulate where we were relative to our hotel. Within ten minutes we were back on the main road headed to our comfortable freshly-tidied rooms.
We were shocked -- it worked better than it does in Chicago. And we didn't know the Find Me feature functioned so well -- or at all -- anywhere outside the US, especially on an island in the south Caribbean.
Have any of you used Find Me anywhere outside the US, particularly in locations where the iPhone isn't sold? How'd it work?
I made a fascinating discovery today, one which will undoubtedly land me an interview spot on CNN and a stint on all the major morning talk shows: drop your 8GB iPhone into a glass of water -- entirely submerged -- and watch it be magically replaced by a brand-new 16GB model.
All you need is a water-damaged iPhone, some serious frustration, and a wad of cash when you walk into the Apple Store. My notorious ADD-inspired (perhaps subconsciously-percipitated) clumsiness somehow resulted in me dropping my precious iPhone -- the same one I stomped on and beat to death with the magnificent OtterBox Armor -- into a full glass of ice water. All the phone could do after that was turn on and off...and on and off, and on and off...by itself...non-stop. It was almost as if the top on/off button was continually triggering its functions -- even when the button wasn't actually pressed.
I went to the iPod Bar at the store, and they told me I could get a replacement for about $250. All of a sudden, my mind was seized by vent-expelled polycarbonate-scented pheromones designed to relax the mind and make customers easily influenced by the nuclear-powered Reality Distortion Field generator built into every Apple Store. Within minutes, I was handing my credit card to the cashier, robotically paying for a new 16GB iPhone.
Apparently they've upgraded those RDF machines since the last time I was there. Damn.
Of course, when I mentioned to the Genius that I had dropped it in water, his first response was: "...the toilet, right?" No, no. A glass of water. Apparently toilet droppings are quite common (snicker). A friend of mine had a similar issue: Two days after purchasing his iPhone he dropped it right into the toilet -- not gonna ask -- and killed it. He hook it to the Apple Store, confessed truthfully to the mishap, and blammo: they gave him a new one on the spot.
As with all Apple products, support experiences vary -- and when you're getting support at the store, it all depends on the Genius who's helping you. They have crazy discretion. Sound off in the comments: have you dropped your iPhone into a cup, a puddle, or toilet? How'd you deal with it?
At this past week's Mobile World Congress, Google's Vic Gundotra, head of mobile operations, told the Financial Times that search traffic from iPhones was blowing away the competition—to the tune of 50 times the amount of searches coming from other mobile devices. In fact, the numbers were so out of whack that they suspected they'd made an error in interpreting the data.
No such luck: turns out that iPhone users really are Googleoholics. But that's not really a surprise, is it? Safari's built-in search field defaults to Google (you can switch it to Yahoo in Settings -> Safari -> Search Engine), and with the iPhone's keyboard and lack of copy/paste, a lot of times it's easier to type a search string in than a URL. Oh, and of course, there's the device's massive popularity. That probably doesn't exactly hurt them either.
If you're a Mac developer looking forward to the release of the iPhone Software Development Kit with a glee usually reserved for Christmas mornings, then you might want to temper that enthusiasm just a wee bit. Developing for the iPhone, as it turns out, won't be quite like developing for the Mac, though they do share some underlying similarities.
Take it from one who knows: namely, Iconfactory programmer Craig Hockenberry, the fellow responsible for Twitterrific. Craig's penned some thoughts on what it's like developing for the iphone, given his experience trying to hack out a native version of Twitterrific.
Don’t expect to reuse much of your existing code. If you’re using a standard MVC design (which is pretty much inescapable if you’re using Cocoa) then about 2/3rds of the application will require major rework.Heed his words, children! He knows wherefore of he speaks. It's a worthwhile read for anybody who's interested in developing for the iPhone. Which, come on, is all of you.From my experience, your models and the infrastructure that support them can be reused without much effort. On the other hand, the multi-touch interface obviates the need for your existing views and controllers.
It's always a pleasant surprise when a company does something helpful. This past week, while I was attending the gargantuan Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas, I suddenly realized that my cash reserves had dwindled to one lonely dollar bill and a handful of change. Hoping to avoid the ridiculous transfer fees that ATMs love to charge, I pulled out my iPhone, thinking maybe I'd be able to find a nearby machine for Bank of America. Navigating a site built for mouse and keyboard over an EDGE connection is hardly an ideal situation, but I hoped that I'd be able to muddle along enough to get the information I was looking for.
Entering the URL, I was amazed to discover that not only had someone at Bank of America heard of the iPhone, they'd actually developed an iPhone-specific version of their site. There were nice big buttons that were easy to hit with your finger, and—even better—it gave priority to the kind of information you might want when you're on your iPhone: like, oh, finding locations. I was able to easily input a ZIP code using a nice big numeric keypad instead of the keyboard and get a list of the nearest BoA ATMs.
Unfortunately, even the nearest was too far from my location to make it in the limited time available, so I sucked it up and paid the extra money. Still, it was a nice thought from Bank of America, and one that I hope more companies will adopt.
Just in case Apple was unsure of what to add to any iPhone updates-software or otherwise-that it might be about to release at a certain San Francisco-based trade show, we've got a handy checklist for them. Specifically, Dan Moren went through the feature wish list we painstakingly compiled last summer and marked off what Apple has added since then and what's still missing. The result? A revised wish list just in time for any last-minute Expo-fueled speculation.
Dan Moren, who normally leads the posting charge round these parts, is patrolling the spacious confines of the Consumer Electronics Show, keeping an eye out for any interesting iPhone developments and accessories. Judging by the news coming out of Las Vegas, it seems like phone-related announcements in general are few and far between -- an accessory here or there and maybe an interesting bit of software. But nothing that's altered the smartphone landscape, certain -- and that's not too surprising, really, considering that the main event in the mobile phone industry, the Mobile World Congress, kicks off a month from now in Barcelona. And you would also figure that most iPhone news would occur at Macworld Expo next week -- if it occurs at all, that is.
But there is one bit of iPhone-related discussion from CES that I thought I'd pass on. During a panel session on mobile gaming, one analyst suggested that the iPhone hasn't been very good in the short term. As Nancy Gohring of IDG News Service reported (silly me -- I forgot to include the link to this story originally):
Apple's iPhone is a capable phone that holds promise for the future of gaming, said Travis Boatman, vice president of worldwide studios for Electronic Arts' mobile division, speaking during a panel session at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. “But it's a replacement for someone who had a Razr before. They still want their content but there's no distribution platform in place so there's a negative impact on the industry,” he said.
Because Apple so far hasn't allowed iPhone users to download just anything, iPhone users may be giving up games that they played on a phone they previously owned, he said. “These devices are capable and powerful,” he said. “They'll be great in the long term but it will take some time as people adapt to devices.”
The article goes on to talk about problems with mobile gaming in general, and as I read it I couldn't help but think to Mac gaming guru Peter Cohen's review of the iPod version of Sonic the Hedgehog. It's a nice-looking game, according to Peter, but through no fault of either Sega of America or Apple, it's just not the sort of thing that's suited to the iPod's interface. The take-away, for me anyhow: Some games just aren't appropriate for some mobile devices.
Which brings us back to the iPhone. I know there's been some work done developing game emulators for the iPhone, and the conventional wisdom is that next month's SDK release will usher in a new era of iPhone-compatible software development, games included. But I can't help but wonder if games is a genre that will really ever take on the iPhone, beyond a puzzle game or two, the odd poker offering, and maybe an impressive casual game. The phone's interface, the fact that I don't see users warming to something that might require them to tap feverishly on the screen, Apple's general ambivalence to gaming -- it suggests to me that there are other third-party opportunities for the iPhone that are more likely to thrive than games.
But now's the chance for you to tell me how wrong I am.
